4 Steps To Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage

The thing you need to know is that it is not too late to stop your divorce. The break up of marriage is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, and it is all too common. More than half of all marriages today will end in divorce. When you consider that divorce is commonly regarded as one of the most stressful events that can happen in a person's life, even beyond the death of a dead one, this is a lot of heartache out there in the world.

The tragedy is that most of these breakups could have been prevented. You do not have to be a statistic. You can do something about it; you can stop your divorce. I won't say that it is going to be easy, but it is possible. You just have to follow the steps to rebuild what has been broken.

You can't expect to stop your divorce without a plan anymore than you can expect to build a house without blueprints. Fortunately, the help is available and it behooves you to take advantage of it. Your marriage does not have to fail. You can do something.

Step One: Find the Problem

You can't stop your divorce if you don't know why your marriage is falling apart. You need to work with your spouse to diagnose what is wrong with the marriage. This is a little harder than it sounds, because what you think might be the reason for the divorce is just a symptom.

Step Two: Fix the Problem

In many ways, this is the most important step. If you can't fix the problem, then you can't stop your divorce. Some problems can't be fixed, but most can. The reason most marriage ending problems don't get solved is that they are never identified. But you've already done that in step one. What you need to do know is work with your spouse to make the compromises that will save your marriage.

Step Three: Remember the Good Times

You're going to need to remind both your spouse and yourself why you were together to begin with. No matter how bad your marriage has gotten, there was a point when things were good. You should try to get back to that place, but you should always keep in mind that it existed.

Step Four: Start Over

The last step in your quest to stop your divorce is to begin again. You need to look at your marriage as a brand new marriage. While you should keep in mind the good times, you need to forget the bad times and learn about your spouse all over again. Things have changed, and you need to make your marriage work with the person you are married to, not the person you used to be married to or the person you wish they were. Accept them as they are, and work together to build a better, stronger marriage.

If you follow these four steps, you will be able to stop your divorce. If you need more help, then don't be afraid to look for it. There are systems out there to help fix what is broken in your relationship, and you need to be willing to use them.

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Emotional Infidelity What It Is And How To Recognize It

Emotional infidelity is almost always the first step on the road to cheating, and may well be considered cheating its own right. There is far more to a relationship than just have a physical relationship with only one person and one person only. The truly satisfying and meaningful part of a relationship is the bond you share with the other person.

The emotional connection is a deep and integral part of a relationship, which is what makes emotional infidelity so devastating. The true bond in a relationship goes far beyond just physical fidelity; it's a large part of what makes a relationship a relationship. A relationship is about sharing your thoughts, feeling and soul with another.

Emotional infidelity is when your significant other begins to form those same kinds of bonds with another person. This almost always goes along with withdrawing from the original relationship.

You go from being your significant other's friend and confidant to being a stranger in your own relationship. This freezing out can be difficult to deal with, and may be hard to see. You may feel that the problem is on your end and that you are the one doing something wrong.

At the same time, emotional infidelity involves the other person forming bonds with another person outside the marriage. One of the terrible things about emotional infidelity is that it can be difficult to define and identify. Because there is nothing as obvious as sleeping with another person going on, saying for certain that it is going on is trickier to prove.

One big sign is a sexual chemistry between the two people, flirting and teasing each other. It may seem innocent because there is nothing physical going on, but emotional infidelity will cause the person to behave differently.

This is a key point that you need to keep in mind when you suspect emotional infidelity. Everybody has friends; men have their best buddies, women have their girlfriends. Many people have close friends of the opposite sex, people with whom they confide much of their lives.

This isn't emotional infidelity, and the big thing to look for is signs of guilt. The big sign that someone is becoming involved with someone else on an emotional level is the fact that your significant other feels compelled to hide it. No one hides their relationships with just friends from their significant others.
When they're hiding something, it means there is something to hide.

Emotional infidelity is a problem in and of itself, but it tends to be one of the early signs of a relationship going bad. The next step is usually physical infidelity, and this is almost always preceded by emotional infidelity. If you can recognize and do something about emotional infidelity, you may have an easier time than if you catch it at a later stage.

The two big signs are emotional disengagement and secretive behavior. If your significant other is pulling away from you, becoming distance or hostile, this is a big sign. Likewise, if they are acting suspiciously, hiding phone calls and emails, avoiding questions and just generally acting like they have a secret, this is a sign.

You need to catch emotional infidelity in its early stages an fix it. This can be tough to do, but if you suspect emotional infidelity in your relationship, then you need to seek out and advice and instruction on how to fix your relationship. 

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Three Steps To Get Them Back After A Relationship Break Up

You've suffered a relationship break up, and now you're wondering if it's possible to get your ex back. This is a natural reaction, and they call it suffering through a break up with good reason.

The answer to that question is yes far more often than you might think, but you need to approach things the right way to have any chance of getting back together after a relationship break up.

Before you start the process of fixing a broken relationship, you need to ask yourself the all-important question: should I fix this relationship. After a relationship break up, you will understandably feeling lonely and lost.

This is not a good reason to try and get back with your ex, because these feelings can lead you to ignore the very real problems that lead to the relationship falling apart to begin with.

But if you look at the relationship and realize that your reasons for wanting to get back with your ex are genuine, then it's time to take the right steps to mend the parts of the relationship that are broken.

You need to take a planned and measured approach, though, and not just go charging right in. You wouldn't run on a broken leg, and you need to take the same kind of care in healing after a relationship break up.

Step One: Date Someone Else

I know this seems like weird advice when you're trying to get your ex back, but this is a very useful step. The keyword here is date; this is not an invitation to start a full-fledged romance.

But dating other people will serve two purposes. One is that it will show you whether or not you should be trying to get your ex back: if you find you're not thinking about them and are thing about your date, then this is a sign that you may be moving on.

The other reason is that it will give you some space to reflection on your relationship and something to compare it to. This will give you the information you will need to do the next step.

Step Two: Know what went wrong

The cliché is that people that don't k now their history are doomed to repeat it. This is rarely more true than in repairing a broken relationship. If you don't know exactly what went wrong, you won't be able to fix it, so it is very important that you figure out where things went wrong so that you can navigate around the reasons for your relationship break up.

Step Three: Use a Light Touch

Start slow and don't rush things. Do not, under any circumstances, expect things to immediately revert to the good old days before the relationship break up. You need to look at this as starting all over, and you need to let things progress at their own pace. Nothing will put your ex off faster than you trying to push them too far, too fast.

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While this article will certainly start you on the road to winning them back after a relationship break up, you may still need more advice and instruction. If this is the case, don't hesitate to look for the advice that will help you get back to the place where you were happy.

Ending A Relationship Know When To Stay And When To Go

When ending a relationship, it's important to know how to end a relationship properly and whether you should be ending a relationship. Not every relationship that has problems needs to end, and not every relationship that has ended needs to stay that way. The trick is having the knowledge to make the right decision.

Some relationships truly do need to end. If your partner is abusing you, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible. If you're on other side, and you're having trouble controlling your temper, then you're obligated to break up with the other person for both of your sakes.

Aside from the obvious, when should you consider ending a relationship? When it's clear to you that the two of you no longer want the same things in a relationship. If the other person wants to get married and you don't, that's a sign. When you find yourself moved to cheat on them with someone else, that's a sign.

Ending a relationship shouldn't follow a big fight. This is how good relationships end up being broken apart when there's no reason they had to. When considering breaking it off with the other person, you need to have a clear head about the entire relationship.

Once you decided to break it off, you need to do it the right way so that you can both move on. There are three basic guidelines you need to follow:

Don't Play Games - Nobody likes to break up with someone. That's normal, but there's a temptation to try and make the other person do the dirty work in ending a relationship. Mostly subconsciously, we pick fights and play games to try and antagonize the other person into breaking up with us.

This is a trap you need to avoid. Be direct, be honest and be proactive; make sure you treat the other person with respect. Trying to goad them into breaking up with you will simply make you both miserable.

Do it in Person - Breaking up is a very painful experience for both parties. It is very tempting to bring the relationship to the end by email or phone or, these days, text message. That way, you don't have to see the look on their face or if you leave a message, without even talking to him.

But obviously, this is no way to end a relationship. If you do not interact with the other person will breaking up, you won't have any kind of closure. This defeats the entire point of making a clean break. Do both of you a favor and break up in person in a relatively private place.

Be Honest - You need to tell the other person exactly why you are ending the relationship. This isn't easy, because they will have tendency to try and talk you out of it, but the truth is that lying to them about the reasons doesn't help either of you. Be honest, even if they don't want to hear it.

If you follow these three tips, you will find ending a relationship to be a much smoother, much more effective process. Be aware, though, that along the way, you might find that the problems you have are fixable. If this is the case, you need to find some resources to help you mend and repair the relationship.

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How To Come Back Stronger Than Ever After Infidelity

After infidelity, a relationship is going to be at its weakest point, but it is possible to come back from it. Infidelity is one of the major reasons that relationships fall apart, but the truth is that cheating is almost always a symptom of something bigger. As bad as cheating is, it's not what you need to focus on to restore your relationship after infidelity.

Cheating is usually a sign that the person doing the cheating is looking for something they're not getting from the relationship. This isn't saying that the partner who was cheated on is doing anything wrong, just that there is a major problem in bedrock of the relationship.

If you are going to come back after infidelity, then there are a few tips you need to follow in order to make the process as easy and effective as possible.

Tip One: Take Charge

If you want to repair your relationship after infidelity, then you need to take charge. The cheating might not have been your fault, but the responsibility for fixing things is going to have to fall on you. You can't make your partner do something, so you can't just sit back and hope that things will fix themselves.
This will also help you to feel better about the relationship. Being cheated on makes you feel like a victim, and taking charge to repair your relationship will give you back the strength and pride that cheating took away.

Tip Two: Don't Play the Blame Game

The human thing is to want to blame the cheater and heap all your emotions on to them. While this may help you feel better, it won't help you rebuild your relationship after infidelity. You need to put away blame and move past it.

This can be difficult, but the best thing you can do is not expect an apology and don't fish for one. You'll get one, if the relationship can be saved, but if you spend timing trying to get them to admit how much they hurt you, you won't be spending the time you need to be spending fixing the relationship.

Tip Three: Find the Reasons Why

Infidelity is a sign that something is broken in your relationship. Even if you manage to get over the cheating and get back together, if you don't fin d out what caused it, then your relationship is going to fail.

This will take brutal honesty on both of your parts, and it's important that you try to keep your emotions in check. Your partner's reasons are going to sound like excuses, but if you keep communicating you will eventually be able to find the truth about what needs to be fixed in your relationship.

Tip Four: Learn to Trust Again

In many ways, this is the toughest thing to do after infidelity. The trust has been broken, and it will be hard to get it back, but you need to be able to trust your partner again. No relationship has ever succeeded based on suspicion and paranoia.

There are many resources available to help you recover after infidelity, and you should make use of them. Repairing your relationship is hard enough, no matter what, so take the extra step and get the help you need to make things good again.

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Separation Relationships Can Get Stronger After Heartache

After a separation, relationships can be hard to rebuild. The point of a separation is to see if you can live without each other and to get some time away from your problems to gain some perspective. Unfortunately, people tend to look at a separation as the beginning of the end for a marriage.

This doesn't have to be true of every separation: relationships can actually come out the other side stronger and healthier than they ever were before. The key to coming back from a separation is to fix the mistakes and problems that lead to the separation and make sure they stay fixed.

A lot of people make an effort to solve the problems to get their significant others back but fail to do the necessary upkeep. This is very much like going on a diet and then expecting to keep the weight off by going back to exactly what you did before. There's a reason why so many people gain the weight back, and it's the same reason there are so many divorces after separation; relationships need maintenance.

The very first thing you need to do to come back from a separation is to find out what the real reasons for the separation were. There will always be a superficial reason, some event driving the decision, but this is rarely the reason, this is usually just a symptom of the real problem.

If you don't find out what the true reason for the separation, relationships will always fail. This means you have to use the time away from the marriage to look at the problem with as much distance as you can. Your emotions will tend to mislead you.

Once you've found out what the problem is, you can begin to do the work needed to fix it. This is a process that involves your spouse; there are two people in a marriage and it takes both of you working together to fix the problems that lead to the separation. Relationships need to be a partnership, and this is a good place to start.

The good news is that fixing the problem is actually the easier part. Finding the problems tends to be harder, and that's the part most couples will get hung up on. The actual fix is usually just a matter of working with your partner to find the solutions and compromises that will allow you to work around the problem.

Like a diet, this will be a lifetime project, and it will involve change. The fact is that something was broken in your marriage, and the both of you are going to have change to make it work. This where most people go wrong after a separation; relationships have be treated as something brand new.

The best strategy is to treat the relationship as if it is something entirely new. Rebuild your marriage from the ground up, making sure to address the problems that how come before, but also addressing what has come before.

After a separation, relationships can be rebuilt. You just need to take the time and put in the work. Another good idea is to get some help; there are systems and advice available all over the internet that show you exactly what you need to do to fix your relationship and save your marriage.

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Relationship Breakups What You Need To Know

Relationship breakups are a terrible thing, and are devastating for most people. What most people want, more than anything else, is to find someone to spend their lives with, someone who will always be there for you. Thinking you have this and then losing it is one of the worst events most people will suffer in their life.

After relationship breakups, people tend to suffer from the same kind of emotional healing process that people who have suffered the death of a loved one. This isn't surprising, since the death of a relationship is very much like the death of someone. But unlike the death of a person, sometimes something can be done to take back the death of a relationship.

Relationship breakups do not have to be forever in many cases. Far more relationships can be saved than those that are permanently destroyed. What you have to know and understand is the various kinds of relationship breakups that exists and what you can do about them.

This article is going to give you a brief look into the kinds of relationship breakups and what strategies you'll need to undertake to fix them. Not all relationships can be repaired, and not all of them should be, but most of them can. You just need to know the right techniques for each kind of breakup.

The Abusive Relationship Breakups

This is a breakup that should stay a break up. Unlike the other relationship breakups, this one can and should stick. There's a chance that you may be considering returning to someone who physically or mentally abused you, but you need to stick with this kind of breakup. No one should take being abused.

The Mutual Breakup

Sometimes, both people in the relationship may want out and the relationship ends by mutual consent. Now, if this is truly a mutual breakup, there's a good chance that this is another relationship that shouldn't be repaired. On the other hand, if it was just called a relationship and was really one of the next two kinds of relationship breakups, that's a different matter entirely.

They Broke Up with You

This is usually the most hurtful kind of break up. If this has happened to you, what you need to do first is figure out exactly why the relationship ended. Once you know this, you have to decide if what went wrong is something you could or should fix. If it is something you can and should fix, then this needs to be your starting point.

You Broke Up with Them

Sometimes, we break up with people and then realize we've thrown away something good. When this happens, the first thing you need to do is reestablish trust. This means that you're going to essentially start the relationship over. Start slow, with coffee dates or something similar, and then work your way slowly towards repairing the relationship.

No matter which of the relationship breakups you've experienced, you need to be aware that help is out there. You just need to find the right kind of advice and instruction to allow you to mend feeling and repair your relationship with your ex.

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Define The Relationship To Save Your Relationship

If you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to define the relationship. One of the biggest reasons that relationships have problems is because both people in the relationship have different expectations and assumptions about what kind of relationship they're in.

Frankly, if you think you're on the road to marriage and happily ever after and your boyfriend or girlfriend thinks that's what you have is a nice light fling, you are going to have problems. Hurt emotions, broken hearts and generally misery tend to lie in the future for people who fail to define the relationship they're in.

The problem is that everyone, and I mean everyone, tends to think of everything they do as normal. This is a problem because there is no such thing as normal. Every person is a unique bundle of needs, fears, and desires. The strengths and weaknesses that make us who we are make the need to define the relationship essential.

Whether we realize it or not, we are all using ourselves as the baseline for behavior. This means that on some very essential levels, we assume that other people want what we want, feel what we feel. Most of us are aware that this isn't the case on a conscious level, but it's hard to put this into action all the time.
As long as things seem to be going okay, we have a tendency to let this go on more and more. After all, when they seem happy and you seem happy, there's no reason to examine your assumptions and expectations. Most of us only do that when things have gone wrong in a relationship.

This why the need to define the relationship early on is so great. Because other people are, well, other people. They may be happy in the relationship, but they may be happy for different reasons. If you let this go too far, you may be setting yourself up for resentment and pain.

By taking the time to define the relationship, you are taking the reins in the relationship. You will be able to see where you are and where you are heading. This will allow you to have a healthier, stronger relationship because you will both be pulling in the same direction rather than going off in two different emotional directions until the strain on the relationship is so great that it breaks.

The problem with taking action to define the relationship is that it's not the comfortable path to take. The conversations can be awkward, and there's always an element of fear that the two of you will have such radically different expectations and goals that the relationship may end.

These are false worries, for the most part. You need to look at the effort to define the relationship as being exercise for your relationship: it may be tough and the time and there's a small chance that you may get injured, but the truth is that it will almost always make the relationship better and stronger.

If you need help in figuring out what you need to do to define the relationship, there is loads of help available. This is one of the best things you can do to build a strong relationship, and it is well worth the effort.

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Relationship Breakup

Ease the Pain of a Relationship Breakup Right Now

A relationship breakup is one of the hardest things most people will ever have to do Indeed, most studies on stress show that a divorce ranks even higher on the stress scale than losing a loved one. Most people don't have any idea how to properly handle a relationship breakup.

The end of a relationship will always be painful, even if it's one that needs to be broken up. You've spent a lot of time and emotion with this person, and even if you're the one doing the breaking up, it's going to come with a lot of hurt feelings.

Obviously, this going to be even worse if you're the one being broken up with. A relationship breakup that you don't want or expect is a horrible event. What you have to keep in mind is that a relationship needs two people in it. You may want it to go on, but if the other person has checked out, you may have to consider that the relationship needed to end.

Still there are techniques you can use to ease the pain of a relationship breakup. I'm going to outline several techniques that have been proven to help relieve the pain of a broken heart and move you past the hurt.

Step One: Figure Out Why

You need to know why the relationship ended. This doesn't matter if you were the one doing the breaking up or the one being broken up with. Either way you need to do some soul searching to find out what the reasons were behind the breakup. If you have some questions about why you broke up, then you're never going to be able to move beyond the relationship breakup.


Step Two: Get Rid of Reminders

You need to get some space between you and the person you've broken up with. This means that you can't go to bed each night hanging on to your ex's old sweater. You need to clean the deck and get your mind off of them. You need to make a clean break, so you need to put away all the little reminders.

Step Three: Positive People

There are negative people in the world and there are positive people. If you've just experienced a relationship breakup, you're going to find that you are in a very negative place. What you need to do is find the most upbeat and positive people you can and spend as much time with them as possible. In combination with the previous two steps, this will put you in the right place to move.

Step Four: Start Dating Again

The final step in recovering from a relationship break up is to start dating other people. The thing you need to keep in mind is that you are not trying to replace your ex, you're just trying to start seeing the world as a place without them. So you need to see other people and get out there. Don't look at every date as a new chance at love, just look at them as a way to get your mojo back.

The four steps will have you over your relationship breakup in no time flat. But keep in mind; you don't necessarily have to get over a break up. Sometimes good relationships fall apart for the wrong reasons, and you can fix the damage. You just need to find the right plan.

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Define The Relationship To Save Your Relationship

If you want to have a healthy relationship, you need to define the relationship. One of the biggest reasons that relationships have problems is because both people in the relationship have different expectations and assumptions about what kind of relationship they're in.

Frankly, if you think you're on the road to marriage and happily ever after and your boyfriend or girlfriend thinks that's what you have is a nice light fling, you are going to have problems. Hurt emotions, broken hearts and generally misery tend to lie in the future for people who fail to define the relationship they're in.

The problem is that everyone, and I mean everyone, tends to think of everything they do as normal. This is a problem because there is no such thing as normal. Every person is a unique bundle of needs, fears, and desires. The strengths and weaknesses that make us who we are make the need to define the relationship essential.

Whether we realize it or not, we are all using ourselves as the baseline for behavior. This means that on some very essential levels, we assume that other people want what we want, feel what we feel. Most of us are aware that this isn't the case on a conscious level, but it's hard to put this into action all the time.

As long as things seem to be going okay, we have a tendency to let this go on more and more. After all, when they seem happy and you seem happy, there's no reason to examine your assumptions and expectations. Most of us only do that when things have gone wrong in a relationship.

This why the need to define the relationship early on is so great. Because other people are, well, other people. They may be happy in the relationship, but they may be happy for different reasons. If you let this go too far, you may be setting yourself up for resentment and pain.

By taking the time to define the relationship, you are taking the reins in the relationship. You will be able to see where you are and where you are heading. This will allow you to have a healthier, stronger relationship because you will both be pulling in the same direction rather than going off in two different emotional directions until the strain on the relationship is so great that it breaks.

The problem with taking action to define the relationship is that it's not the comfortable path to take. The conversations can be awkward, and there's always an element of fear that the two of you will have such radically different expectations and goals that the relationship may end.

These are false worries, for the most part. You need to look at the effort to define the relationship as being exercise for your relationship: it may be tough and the time and there's a small chance that you may get injured, but the truth is that it will almost always make the relationship better and stronger.

If you need help in figuring out what you need to do to define the relationship, there is loads of help available. This is one of the best things you can do to build a strong relationship, and it is well worth the effort.

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How To Survive An Affair Relationships That Last

After an affair, relationships can be hard to mend. The most essential part of any relationship is trust, and if you've cheated this bond is broken. The good news is that it is possible for a relationship to come back from cheating. The bad news is that you are going to have to work for it.

The first thing you need to do is swear off affair relationships. This is not a guide on how to cheat on your partner. If you're going to continue to cheat, then these guidelines will not be of much help to you. If you're willing to do the work, then these tips will help you repair your relationship.

The first thing you to need to do is admit your affair. Relationships are built on trust, and you can't have trust when you're lying to the other person. Not telling them is lying, a lie of omission. You need to tell them if they don't know, even though it is going to hurt.

Aside from general honesty, which is always a virtue, there is a practical side to this as well. If they don't know, they will find out, and it's better that you take the bullet now rather than add to the pain when they do find out. If you try to keep it a secret, you're going to torpedo the relationship.

The next thing you need to do is to take the blame. You may feel that your partner did something to drive you to cheat. We also all have natural tendency to rationalize our behavior, to explain ourselves by coming up with an excuse. But the reality is that it is you that cheated, you that the affair. Relationships aren't built by blaming your partner for your mistakes. Take the blame and move on.

Then you need to apologize. What you're looking for here is a complete admission and a sincere apology. You need to make sure that they know that you are truly repentant and regret what you did. Don't try to explain, just let them know how you feel.

Once you've done that, you need to give them some space. They are going to react, they are going to be hurt, and you can't push them into forgiving you any faster than they are going to already. Be there for them, but make sure that you don't push. They will be ready when they are ready, and if you try to push the issue then you are only going to succeed in pushing them further away.

After an affair, relationships are going to be different. The best thing you can do is to look at it as if you are starting the relationship all over again. You're going to need to win back their trust, and this is a process that is going to take some time.

Fortunately, there are resources available to you to help you repair the relationship. It may be hard to admit to yourself that you need help, but using one of the systems can be the best relationship move you'll ever make.

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Stages Of A Relationship Understanding Them Makes A Difference

You’re probably not thinking about the different stages of a relationship while you’re with someone. And especially if the relationship is new or restarting after a breakup, it’s not likely on your mind. But if you understand the different stages of a relationship it can help you understand where you are and what’s yet to come.

Of all the stages of a relationship, the first stage is probably the most exciting.  This is the romance stage, the beginning. There’s dating and getting to know each other, and each of you is on your very best behavior because you want to woo the other person.

This stage is often called the honeymoon period, because everything is fresh and new. Everything the other person does probably seems wonderful. You laugh at his jokes, and don’t mind the person’s flaws. In fact, you may even find his flaws endearing. Just like anything new, it can be a great deal of fun and seem adventurous.

The next two stages are the make or break stages that many couples never make it through. They account for things like very short relationships and marriages. The second stage is commonly known as the power struggle stage.

This is when the newness starts to wear off, and usually starts somewhere between six months to a year after the relationships starts. It’s during this time that things start to get serious. Everything isn’t as cute and endearing as it was in the beginning.

Each person in the relationship is trying to get his or her needs met, and they’re starting to notice where the other person falls short in doing that. If you’re in this stage, take a step back. The things you’re finding fault with in the other person are probably flaws that you have also.

If a couple can get through this stage, the relationship has a much better chance of lasting. Unfortunately, many couples try to change each other in the second stage. This leads to break-ups. Honest communication is the key to getting past it. Be understanding, and realize that you have shortcomings, too.

The third of the stages of a relationship is where you realize that you can’t change the other person, and you stop trying. If you came to that realization by talking with your partner and being understanding, then congratulations are in order!

This stage for you will be one of learning to be content with what the other has to offer and learning to take care of yourself. If the power struggle ended badly, then this is the stage where you’re likely to end the relationship.

The next stage is that of commitment. You realized you couldn’t change each other but you still made it work, and you know you want to be together.  Now you can move on to a true partnership, which is the last stage.

Many couples bounce from stage 2 to 3 several times before moving on to commitment. By understanding the stages of a relationship, you’re at least aware of what’s happening and why.

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Happy Valentines Day

                                                 Happy Valentines Day One And All

 May your valentines wishes all come true and you get back together with your loved one you have lost

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Relationships Sites Good Vs Bad Advice

The Internet is filled with relationships sites that offer advice, tips and articles about good and bad relationships. Some are designed for those who are new in a relationship while others are for those who have had a break up and are now making up and trying to work it out. Can these relationships sites really help you heal your relationship?

If you take the information in them and apply it, it can certainly help. There are certain types of advice that are better than others, obviously. And some relationships sites are designed to get you to buy something, with articles that really don’t even make much sense.

Avoid those sites that are too cutesy to be useful, with quizzes and articles about things like how to trick your partner, how to cheat and not get caught, and things like that. Those aren’t for people in serious relationships, or they’re just for humor.

But sites that offer good advice can be very helpful. Very often there will be message boards and forums where other people reading the same information can interact. Testimonials about how the site helped might be available.

Be sure to take those testimonials with a grain of salt, however. Some relationships sites make them up, or have other people make them up, just to look better or sell you something.

The sites that have been put up by actual relationship experts like those who have written extensively on the subject are usually best. If they counsel people in healing relationships and have some popular books, they’re at least trying to offer useful information.

But there are sites that aren’t put out by experts that can contain gold mines, too. Some might have question and answer pages or even advice columns. It can often be helpful to read about other people’s situations. This lets you see what other people did while seeing if the advice might apply to your situation, too.

Relationships sites that guarantee they can save your relationships or marriage might not be great ones. If you’ve broken up and are now back together, you know how hard it is. And for any site or person to say that your relationship can definitely be saved is deceptive.

Without knowing your particular situation, no one should ever make that promise. And in fact, even with knowing your situation in detail, there’s no guarantee that anything can make absolutely sure that everything will work out all right.

The most any websites or even experts can do is give you the tools to try. You can get advice that will give you the best possible chance of making the relationship work this time. Then it’s up to you to use the information to make it happen.

Sites that have a lot of absolute statements, like how something will make him do a certain thing or think a certain way, aren’t being realistic. Look for relationships sites that admit not everything will work just as planned, as the advice in them will be much more practical.

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Scorpio Relationship Watch That Stinger

If you’re in a Scorpio relationship, you may be a very brave soul! Scorpios are wonderful companions, and are fiercely loyal. But when things go wrong, the other person in a Scorpio relationship can end up feeling a bit stung.

Scorpios are take charge kind of people, who like being in charge and controlling the relationship. That doesn’t mean you should give in on everything. But it helps if you understand their nature is to automatically try to lead the way in almost every situation.

When you feel the need to take charge, simply express yourself and you’ll win your Scorpio’s respect and admiration for standing up for yourself. Scorpios appreciate determination and moxie in a partner, because those are things Scorpios have no shortage of.

It may help to understand your partner by knowing that Scorpios relish a challenge. Playing a little hard to get at times might be just the thing. But don’t play too hard to get, because if it seems you’re truly not interested, your partner will lose interest, too.

It’s one thing to win someone over, but to drag them clawing and kicking is another. A Scorpio loves to convince other people that their opinion is right, but by diplomatic means rather than aggressive ones. So keep it interesting by asserting yourself and not giving in, but if you resist too many things too much, the Scorpio relationship might get a little too heated.

Scorpios can be wonderful and generous partners. And sometimes they have very slow tempers that can take a lot. But when this sun sign does finally get angry, watch out! It’s not going to be pretty. Even if the Scorpio doesn’t actually show his or her temper, they’re seething beneath the surface.

Unfortunately for many relationships, people born under this sign can hold a grudge forever. If you mess up, don’t expect to be instantly forgiven. In fact, the thing you did wrong might be brought up in every argument for years to come. Some Scorpios are obviously better at forgiveness than others. But if not, it’s hard to get them to forget something you did wrong.

Sometimes, Scorpios tend to think you can read their minds. Or more accurately, they think you should be able to read minds. If you’ve broken up and are back in your Scorpio relationship trying to make it work, you need to remember this tendency.

If your partner is in a huff, angry, short-tempered or otherwise acting poorly, it could be that you haven’t figured something out they want you to figure out. This can be a frustrating Scorpio tendency, because even if you ask what’s wrong you might get only, “How can you not know?”

The key to making this work is to explain that you really need them to tell you. Why you didn’t pick up on the problem doesn’t matter, though you should be on the look out for problems, of course. But if they’re not willing to tell you what they need, it’s very hard to make a Scorpio relationship work.

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When To End A Relationship

If you’re wondering when to end a relationship, then you’re faced with a hard decision. After you’ve invested time with another person, it’s never easy to say goodbye. This is true if you’ve been together 3 months, 3 years, or more. But sometimes learning when to end your relationship is the best thing you can do for both of you.

If you really love the person you’re with, you might wonder when to end a relationship and why. You might think that just because you love him or her, you should stay and work things out. And very often it is worth a try.

Many people give up on their relationships before they’ve really tried to fix them. Because it’s difficult, they throw in the towel instead of working on their problems. This is unfortunate, because many people could probably be happy together if only they weren’t afraid to try.

And other people have problem after problem and keeping working hard when most people think they should just give up. It’s as if these people are gluttons for punishment. Their partner keeps cheating on them and they keep taking him back. Or their partner keeps making other mistakes and letting them down.

It seems they don’t know when to end a relationship. But usually it’s that they’re simply afraid of being alone and moving on.

There are obvious situations that should tell you when to end a relationship. If your partner is abusive, it’s time to get out, no excuses. If you don’t feel safe, even down to feeling like you’ll have something to eat and be secure, then you should move on.

Other things are less sure. If your partner has cheated, for instance, does that always mean it’s time to leave? Some people can get past one mistake like that. They sometimes end up with a stronger relationship after the affair.

But more often they really never get past the betrayal. Even if it never happens again, the one who was cheated on can’t let go of the hurt. And the one who cheated will eventually get tired of the suspicion and guilt.

If there has been cheating in your relationship, it’s not easy to decide if it should end. You should really talk about everything involved. From trust to fear of it happening again, it should all be put on the table in an honest discussion.

How about if you feel like cheating? If you have a really strong desire to be with someone else, should you end it? These types of feelings are natural. You can even have fantasies about other people. But if you’re constantly thinking that you’d be better of with someone else, maybe you really would be.

If you love your partner and you’ve tried different ways of working it out, step back. How have you really tried?  For how long? When to end a relationship isn’t always easy to see, but if you know you’ve done everything and it’s still not working, it may be time to go.

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Secret Relationship Why Keep A Secret

A secret relationship could seem exciting at first, but it can also become a burden to keep the secret. There are legitimate reasons for not telling anyone about a relationship. At some point, the burden of secrecy will probably start to strain the relationship and you’ll have to decide whether not keep it a secret relationship.

One of the main reasons for having a relationship with someone secretly is because you worry what other people will think. Maybe your parents or friends would not approve of this person. You should really stop and consider why they wouldn’t approve before having a secret relationship.

Your family and friends really just want what’s best for you in most cases. Now and then there are situations where they just want to impose their will on you. But for the most part, they’re looking out for you.

Do they feel the person will hurt you, or doesn’t treat you right? Has that person given them reason to think the relationship might not be a good one? If they disapprove on those grounds, you can hardly blame them. In fact, keeping the relationship a secret hints that you might not disagree completely.

It could be that you just don’t want to hear their protests. But it also could be that you know they’re not entirely wrong. Otherwise, why not have the relationship out in the open and show them how wrong they are?

If they disapprove of the relationship for reasons that are petty or clearly based on their own issues, then you should ask yourself why you’re having a secret relationship at all. Things like thinking that your partner doesn’t have enough money or class, for instance, would be no reason to hide the relationship.

You may, out of a desire to not have to hear their complaints. But for such a narrow minded reason, you shouldn’t worry about keeping their minds at ease. If they don’t like your partner’s race or even sex, it can be simpler to keep the relationship a secret. But you shouldn’t have to unless you really want to.

Why not show them that you’re your own person and you’re proud of how you feel? By having your relationship out in the open, you’re being more true to yourself and your partner. And maybe you’ll even change their minds about what being a relationship means.

You might even be surprised to find some friends or family members don’t feel the same as the rest. Often, if a family or group of friends is against something, like an interracial relationship, you perceive each person as feeling that way.

But it could be there are a few who didn’t want to speak up and be different. Don’t be too hard on them for not standing up for you and what they believe in. They probably felt outnumbered and didn’t want to hear the arguments. And you’re in a secret relationship, after all, because you didn’t want to have to hear the protests either.
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Is There A Secret To Relationships

If there were a magic secret to relationships, someone would have already bottled it and made millions of dollars. But there are several ways to make your relationship strong and give it the best chance of lasting a lifetime. Most of them are common sense and some are just reminders of when the relationship was new. None of them is really a secret.

• Love. It’s not enough to love your partner, but you have to show them that you love them often. You should never be in a relationship if you don’t feel genuine love for someone, and feel comfortable expressing it.

• Respect. If you don’t respect the person you’re with, there’s little hope for the relationship. If you laugh at your partner, feel he or she is often a joke, dumb or worthy of some kind of scorn, then what’s the point?

• Kindness. Treat your partner with kindness always. A secret to relationships is to be as courteous when you’re alone and not feeling thrilled at that moment as you would with a stranger on the street.

• Thoughtfulness. Put your partner’s needs and desires at the top of your list. Little gestures are often some of the most powerful.

• Honesty. Lies can ruin a relationship quickly, even if they’re lies about nothing important. Don’t do anything deceptive and you’ll never have to lie in the first place.

All of those are important to a relationship and may be called the “secret to relationships.” But you really need all of them for a good relationship, and they’re things everyone already knows. The hard part can be figuring out how to express some of them.

Honest is pretty easy to show. Simply be open and honest during conversations. Don’t be afraid to let your partner see your true self, especially when you feel scared, sad, lonely or vulnerable.

Showing respect and showing kindness can go hand in hand. By treating your partner with respect, you show that you support them. You’ll back them up in their ideas and actions because you respect and believe in them.

Even when you don’t necessarily feel they’re doing the right thing, you can respect their decision and be kind in your words about it. Disagreeing pleasantly is a so-called secret to relationships.

Thoughtfulness and love can be expressed hand in hand, too. Telling your partner that you love him is one way to express love. But maybe he feels more loved when you reach out and rub his shoulders for a minute as you pass. Or you balance the checkbook so he doesn’t have to do it.

People perceive love differently. If you can find what your partner perceives as the most loving thing and do that, you’re expressing your love perfectly for that person. And you’re being thoughtful, too. You’re thinking of that person and trying to make them happy.

If you combine these things and apply them, then you’ve found the secret to relationships that can make your partnership a happy one.

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How To Deal With Relationships Depression

Relationships depression is pretty common when you’re in a relationship that has recently had problems like a break up or separation. You might feel that it’s crazy to feel this way, because you’ve saved the relationship and are still together. You’re supposed to feel happy, not suffering from relationships depression.

But it’s fairly common because no matter how good the relationships might be going now you recently had a rocky patch. If your biggest fear then was that you would lose the other person, you should be happy, right? You’re still together. So why the relationships depression?

Going through that rough period can be devastating. You feel all sorts of emotions. If cheating was involved, the break up or cooling off period was probably even worse. If you were cheated on, you know there’s nothing more painful that can happen over the course of  a relationship.

And if you were cheating on and you forgave that person to stay in the relationship, it’s going to take some time to fully heal. No wonder you feel depressed! You’re putting yourself out there again after being hurt.

If you cheated and the other person forgave you, maybe you feel depressed because you hurt them and its just now sinking in? Or maybe you feel hounded, as if he or she suspects your every move? You also might be unhappy because maybe you really didn’t want to stay in the relationship and you’re only now becoming aware  of it.

If no cheating was involved, depression can still strike and make you feel bad. For whatever reason, you or your partner weren’t together, or were considering breaking up. That’s a hard pill to swallow!
You’re faced with knowing that maybe the other person was going to decide to live without you. Even though in the end they decided to stay with you, that they were considering something else is a painful thing!

And sometimes relationships depression is brought on by fear. When things were over or almost over, you felt horrible. And you remember that feeling now. You might imagine, without really knowing it, how you would have felt if the relationship had not gotten back together.

The fear of that happening now or what you would be feeling now if it had can make you depressed. That’s a natural reaction.

And overall, a break up is one of the most painful things a person can go through, no matter what the reason. Even if you didn’t officially split, things were tense enough that the possibility was there. When a relationship ends, you go through the same thought processes and emotions as you do with any painful ending, like a death.

So it’s a very difficult life challenge to have a break up or a near break up. It’s great that you’ve worked it out and gotten back together. Just stay strong in the relationship. Make sure that’s where you really want to be, and the relationships depression will pass.
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Secret Relationships Can They Work

Secret relationships sound exciting and adventurous, don’t they? Just having a secret is provocative, but when there’s romance and sex involved that makes the secret even juicier. Do you like know why secret relationships have such a big appeal, and that people wonder why you’re smiling all the time?

Secret relationships aren’t uncommon. But you should also realize that they don’t always work. In fact, having a relationship that’s a secret can put a huge strain on you as a couple. The odds of this type of relationship only lasting a short time are pretty high.

It can be more difficult than you think to go very long without talking about the relationship. If it weren’t secret, you would probably mention your partner throughout the day in casual conversation. Even just mentioning something you saw together or talked about would be a natural thing to do.

But in secret relationships, you have to keep yourself from doing that. You might find it on the tip of your tongue to talk about your partner and have to catch yourself all the time. Having to censor yourself several times a day can be quite a source of stress.

Add to that your partner’s feelings about having to do the same thing. Between the two of you, that can add up to a lot of tension.

There’s also the worry about being seen together. People in hush-hush relationships don’t have the luxury of going out go a great restaurant for dinner. They can’t go see the latest movie together, or walk down the road holding hands.

There are exceptions to this. If you’re keeping the relationship secret because you’re good friends and you don’t want people to know it’s become more, you can still be seen together. But you’ll have to give only appearance of friendship around others.

Some relationships are kept secret for that very reason. Friends have become more than that but dot’ want to “jinx” the relationship. Or they decide that their group of friends might not understand. And they think maybe keeping it a secret is a good idea in case things don’t work out. Then the friends would never have to know.

Many coworkers who start dating keep the secret for the same reason. Things would just be easier at work if other people didn’t know, both while it’s happening and in case it ends. And with work situations, such dating might be discouraged making the secret necessary.

But by keeping it a secret for those reasons, it’s as if you’re saying that it’s probably not going to work out. At least, you’re showing that you have serious doubts about it. How healthy does it seem to be in a relationship that you must believe won’t last, so much so that you’re keeping it a secret?

While the relationship might be thrilling at first and seem like an adventure, the best way to have secret relationships is with the understanding that they’ll only be secret for a short time.

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Relationships 101 How To Save Your Relationship

You might think it’s too bad you can’t take a class called relationships 101 in college. They offer math, physics, literature and tons of classes, but a class on relationships is something that could help everyone. Fortunately, you have the skills already to save your relationship and make it better without needed a relationships 101 course.

Most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. There are a few relationships that shouldn’t be saved, like those that are abusive or really miserable. But most others have the potential to be fixed. That should be lesson number in any relationships 101 class.

The problem is, people give up too soon. They’re angry, hurt, upset and it just seems easiest to get out of the situation that made them that way. It’s all too easy to focus only on what’s happening now, and not the past.

If the relationship was good at one point, and most were or no one would have stayed in it very long, then it really can be that way again. But people have to look past the anger and the problems that are happening now, and remember those good times. That’s the only way they’ll even want to try to use relationships 101 theory to save the couple.

To cause further problems, often one person is ready to work hard at saving the relationship. But the other person won’t look past the bad to remember the good. That person is ready to chuck it all away. And can only person save a relationship?

Sometimes one person can do it, but it’s not easy. It’s hard to stay positive and hopeful when your boyfriend of girlfriend doesn’t act or feel the same. It can start to feel like you’re fighting a losing battle.
Relationships 101 lesson #2: Keep fighting the battle, because even if the relationship doesn’t heal, it will make you a better person. That’s because the things you’ll do to try to save the relationship are simply good for you, and good for the other person, too.

It’s very important to remember the way you behaved with the relationship was new and going strong. Compare that to how you behave with that person now. And turn things around by acting the way you used to, and doing the things you used to.

Strive to be polite again just as you were in the beginning. Be thoughtful and be a good friend to the person whenever you can, even if you’re not going to get anything out of it. Don’t beg them to come back, tell them they need to come back, or threaten what will happen if they don’t come back.

When faced with someone acting like that, would you want to be with that person again?  Tell yourself that you’ll survive no matter what happens, but do your very best to show them the person they want to be with again. Best the best “you” no matter what is the best relationships 101 lesson there is.

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Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship

The wife husband relationship can be a complicated one. Many marriages fail because one or both partners don’t really understand the dynamic of the relationship. If even one person has a basic understanding of it, the marriage is bound to be stronger. But if both people understand how a wife husband relationship works, then it has the best chance of being a good marriage.

One of the keys to understanding the wife husband relationship is to realize just how different men and women really are. Aside from the obvious physical differences, the sexes are different emotionally and mentally, too.

When faced with a problem, for instance, men and women tend to approach it from completely different angles. Women are more likely to discuss it with other people. They might get advice and input from a few friends. It’s not uncommon for women to talk about the problem at length.

That’s because women solve problems when they talk about them. They explore all the angles of the issue and how they feel about it, and often in doing so a solution appears.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be more tight-lipped about problems. They think about it more than they talk about it. It’s more common for a man to ponder a problem and say little until he’s figured out the solution.

In the wife husband relationship this difference in problem solving can itself be a problem. He might think that she’s talking it to death when she should be trying to figure it out herself. And she might think he’s not even worried about something because he’s not talking about it .When in reality, it’s on his mind all the time and he’s just not pointing it out.

Sometimes, women tend to talk about things that they don’t necessarily want help with, or advice about. They simply want someone to listen to their opinion and thoughts. Where if a man is talking about something, it’s because he wants an answer.

If a woman is talking about something just to get it off her chest or vent, other women tend to get that and offer support. They don’t try to tell her what to do for the most part, but simply join in the conversation in empathy.

A man might simply state a solution and tell the woman what she should do, thinking he’s being very helpful and doing what he’s supposed to. But really, the woman will feel that he’s not listening and instead just trying to end the conversation.

Of course, not every wife husband relationship will happen exactly like these examples. Some men will talk out a problem and some women will be tight-lipped about it. But in general, the sexes can be expected to follow these typically patterns.

Understanding those patterns can help you stop yourself before you do something that’s natural to you. You can think about what your partner needs from you instead, and do that .Your wife husband relationship will be much stronger and happier because of it.

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Are You In The Right Relationship

How can you tell if you’re in the right relationship? Have you made a mistake by getting back together with this person, only you can’t see it yet? Sometimes during a break up the only thing you want is the other person. But once you’re back together you question if you’re in the right relationship. There’s no foolproof way to determine if this person is the right one for you. The only thing you can figure out if you’re in the right relationship at the time. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be.

You have to ask yourself several questions to figure out if this relationship is right for you today. Start with, are you happy? You won’t be skipping and picking flowers every second, of course, but in general you should feel happy to be with that person.

You may have a doubt now and then or a bad feeling, but if your feelings toward the person and the relationship are mostly positive, then you could be in a great relationship. Don’t let the odd doubt or strange feeling make you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.

When you do feel doubt or feel sad, why do you? Is it because you’re wondering about a specific other person and thinking that you might be with them instead? Or are they just general thoughts about the possibilities you might be missing if you weren’t in this relationship?

Everyone thinks things like that from time to time. But if you’re preoccupied by “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts, you might not be in the right relationship after all.

Do you feel safe in the relationship? This applies to feeling physically safe, as in your partner would never hit or abuse you. And it also applies to feeling emotionally safe. You feel that they would not want to hurt you for the world.

Do you feel safe from the threat of a break up? Or do you worry about your partner cheating often? If you spend a lot of your time in the relationship wondering if the other person is capable of cheating, then you might not be with the right person.

If you think the person is cheating, then you’re spending a lot of time being suspicious and questioning his or her motives. That’s no way to spend your days. You need to figure out if your doubts are reasonable.

Would that person actually cheat or do you think those things from your own insecurities? If you really don’t trust the other person, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. That will only serve to make you miserable and suspicious, and can end badly for both of you.

Do you feel special? If you feel like you’re constantly fighting for the other person’s attention and affection, you might look for someone else. You should feel like the person most important to them if you’re in the right relationship.

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7 Top Signs Of Cheating In A Relationship

If you suspect your partner at all, you should look for signs of cheating in a relationship. Usually if you see smoke, a fire is burning somewhere. So if you have doubt in your partner’s fidelity, there’s probably a reason.

Remember that just because you see signs of cheating in a relationship, though, that doesn’t necessarily mean that cheating is going on. Once you’ve seen the signs, you’ll have to look further to determine if cheating is really happening.

And sometimes there are no signs of cheating in a relationship and yet cheating is going on. It’s not an easy position to be in, to have to figure these things out.

The following signs can certainly lead you one direction or another. Don’t make a decision just based on one or even a few of them. But a lot of evidence can certainly let you know that something may be wrong, and you may want to look at little closer.

• Secret cell phone conversations are one of the top signs. If your partner leaves the room every time the cell phone rings, you have to wonder why. Were they taught that’s polite? If they’re at all strange acting about the conversation, you should pay attention.

• Sudden change in hygiene is common when someone is having an affair. If your partner never goes to any special trouble for you to make sure he or she looks and smells good, a change in this could be worrisome. If they’re making themselves nice for you, that’s great. If they’re dolling up to go out, you have to wonder why.

• More arguments can be one of the signs of cheating in a relationship. Particularly if it seems your partner is starting the argument for no reason and then storming out because of it. It could be just an excuse to leave and have some time away from you without having to come up with another excuse.

• Catching your partner in a lie can mean trouble. Even the smallest lie shows that person’s willingness to lie in general. Look for connections between that lie and the possibility of an affair.

• An increase in computer time can be a bad sign. If your partner is spending hours online after you’re in bed or while you’re doing other things, it could be an affair.

• A common sign of cheating is if your friends act strange. They might know something you don’t and feel uncomfortable around you.

• And a painfully common sign of cheating is if your partner accuses you of cheating or hints that he thinks you might be having an affair. Very often, that’s a guilty conscious talking and you’re being accused of the thing that’s causing him or her guilt.

The only way to know for sure is to have real evidence. So remember that even though these are common signs of cheating in a relationship, none of them can be used to prove an affair is occurring.

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